Philip (Phil) England

Since the Covid-19 situation started, my mental health has been all over the place, a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Now that things are looking like they are easing I am scared, frightened to be mixing with people. The friend I am in a bubble has noticed that I have changed. I am not sure I can mix with people again, my mind is not up to it, I am not sure I know how to properly anymore.  As daft as it sounds, I think being social for me is out of the question. I am scared to be social in person with people out in the world. Scared I will catch something, scared I can't get on any more, scared I can't live life again. I feel like I will be trapped in my mind when everyone else is venturing out in to the wide world to live again. I have breathing issues, blood pressure problems and depression, all of which Covid has impacted and amplified. Attempting to go to shops to get fresh produce that I really like to choose my self has led to shortness of breath and panic attacks...

I have been living with mental health issues for too many years to remember. A few years ago I was put on anti depressants at a low dose, which helped. Back in March last year when the whole UK was thrown in to lockdown it felt like the end for me. I was cut off from all my friends I had relied on for support, both mental and physical. With various measures in place in Wales, things started to play on my mind. With a stubborn Father, who kept going out for long drives to goodness knows where, my mental anguish and state of mind really took a wallop.  I was on the verge of a mental meltdown. I found myself crying on the phone to my sister. She phoned our Father, who then phoned me. I pleaded with him to stay close to home, and travel no further than 5 miles away, which when I told him about my mental state of mind, he was happy to do. Shortly after this, my medication us increased, which was something I didn't really want, but knew it was needed. Living with mental health is one thi...